This is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned, and it’s taken me sooooo many years to figure out. Stop worrying so much about the future and live in the present. I’ve spent endless sleepless nights and hours worrying about their futures and little things, like will my daughter get that prime tutoring spot or how will my child react to the children around him? Trivial, everyday things.
It’s only been thru mindfulness meditation, that I’m learning to live and focus on the present and parent as such. It’s called mindful parenting and said best by mindfulness guru Jon Kabat-Zin…
Practice seeing your children as perfect just the way they are. See if you can stay mindful of their sovereignty from moment to moment, and work at accepting them as they are when it is hardest for you to do so.
I’m all about improvement (probably part of the ADHD brain). I get bored easily, and self-improvement and improving the lives of my family members is a mission. I have fallen into the “must-have therapy” zone, that is “my child must have this therapy to thrive” mindset way too many times, hyper-focusing on the situation on hand till it’s solved to my satisfaction, with an endless pursuit of perfection.
So now I make time for meditation and time to connect with my children daily. It could be a quick back massage, a discussion where I’m totally focused on them (not daydreaming), or making them a meal that they could otherwise fix themselves, reaping the benefit of sitting and talking story. Saying thank you for doing their chores. Even five minutes goes a long way. Of course, we do family dinners 3-5x a week. Helps to keep connected with your kiddos, and make the journey worthwhile. There’s a lot of crap that we have to deal with and hard to see the good at times when you’re living in survival mode, but it’s vitally important to make time for celebration, connection, and appreciation.
Not only will it help our psyche and deepen family relationships, but will result in a better, well-behaved child who feels loves and appreciated. Don’t most of us behave better when we feel this way?