Why do we need to do date night? I asked our therapist. How is that a part of the therapy?
The answer was simple when the parents are aligned and have a strong foundation, the child sees it and it changes things for them in a good way. What, I asked? I didn’t get a clear answer but said I’d try it out. These doctors hadn’t steered me wrong so far.
The kiddos were surprised when we told them we were going out. The first date was to a local eatery that we frequented prior to having kids. Of course, we talked a lot about them but ended up seated next to someone I knew, so that made the date more bearable. In the past, dating my husband wasn’t particularly fun. He’s not a spontaneous dude and I end up planning everything. Anyhow, the food was delicious and that was enough fun for me. I’m easy to please. A good tasting meal makes me very happy.
When we came home, the children had already fed themselves, cleaned up the kitchen, and were ready for bed. It was amazing because no one was there bugging them to do it. Something shifted in my children. I can’t quite describe it, but it was a good thing.
Warrior parents are focused on giving their children the best lives possible. Sometimes in that quest for the next treatment or therapy, they forget about their marriage. The children come before marriage. The children become the center of the universe, and they know it.
What we tend to forget, is that we are the role models. We need to lead and show our children what a strong marriage looks like. They need to see us coming together. They do not need to hear us arguing about parenting or differences. We need to “show” them that we give our marriage priority.
My husband and I’ve been together for 28 years. We don’t particularly like dating and don’t do it very often outside the home, but we take time to connect with a cup of coffee on the lanai. Occasionally, we go out and when we do, we make sure the children are aware of it. In the beginning, we’d force ourselves to go out on these “fake” dates, but we had a little fun and it was good to reconnect. In fact, since Covid, we haven’t been on one date outside the house for six months, with exception of our weekly trips to Costco. Well, at least I get some good food out of it. Good enough to make me happy.