My daughter’s recently commented how they are Cinderella because they have so many chores. My response was, really? I don’t make you wear rags, eat table scraps or sleep by the cinders. I don’t make you feel bad or abuse you verbally, but yes I give chores and lots of them for today’s standards.
Why don’t more parents give their children chores? I just had dinner with some good friends who’s daughter is getting ready to graduate from high school and has gotten away with not doing chores her entire life. What’s that all about? When asked to do chores, she just doesn’t do them and replies, “I will do them when I get to college.” Well I agree, why would anyone do chores unless they were required too.
Many loving and good meaning parents, think that they are helping and caring for their children by not assigning chores. Others keep their children so busy, the children don’t have time to do chores more or less get a good night’s sleep. And others can’t get their kids to do the chores. It’s easier to do it themselves, then fight with their children to do them.
My children have a plethora of chores. They do bathrooms, laundry, dishes, vacuum, keep their rooms tidy, pick up around the house, help in the yard, clean the pool, take care of the dog, including scooping poop, feeding, washing, and walking our dog. They have more chores than most families I know.
It started as me being a stay-at-home mom who’s a lazy housekeeper. Early on, I sought out their help and assigned chores. I recall folding laundry with my 3 year old on our bed. Then it evolved to a matter of survival, we couldn’t afford a housecleaner so they got the bathroom cleaning duty too. Plus, there’s no way I could handle or even want to attempt doing all that for the family. It would drive me bananas and make me a very unhappy mama.
But the real validation came when I came across a 75 year span Harvard study that found that kids that had chores and came from a supportive and loving environment, were the most successful as adults. Basically, it gives children a “can do” attitude that helps them find success in the workplace and interpersonal relationships as adults.
So by not giving your kids chores you are doing them a disservice. Get them to do chores! The most beautiful part of chores for my husband and I is the time we gained together after dinner. One child does dishes, one does the floors and trash, and the other puts away the food and cleans the counter. Us parents, retreat to the comfort of our living room to relax with a nice beverage. Gives us time to reconnect too, which strengthens our marriage and benefits our children too.