This week was a rough one. I found myself advocating with doctors and hospitals for my 75-year-old mother. As I sat there, talking with doctors and nurses and asking questions, I thought to myself about how the skills I learned while advocating for my children, have prepared me to manage my mother’s medical care. It was close call this week. Had I not been involved, the outcome might have been very different.
I’ve been advocating for my children in private and public schools for years while building working partnerships with schools and providers. I had no idea what I was doing at first but treated the process like I would any job, with professionalism, persistence, and good follow-thru. It’s harder to do the “care coordinator” job as a parent due to the emotions involved, but it’s an important and essential role.
Here are some tips on building your advocating skills:
- Build strong relationships with the people you meet. Everyone from providers, doctors, schools, and office personnel. To me, this is the most important part of advocating for your child. I have found saints in the midst of chaos. My experience is that folks in social services are generally caring and kind. Many a teacher or provider has gone well beyond my expectations to help my child. Having good relationships is a must!
- Avoid burning bridges. As heated or stressed as you may be, it never helps to chew someone out or blame others for your child’s problems. My children are my responsibility and no one else will do for them as I would.
- Ask a lot of meaningful and follow-up questions. Providers are pressed for time. I am amazed at how much I learn by asking questions. Here are two of my favorites, “are there any resources you could suggest or any advice you can add?”
- Be persistent. “Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence,” Ray Kroc, founder of McDonalds.
- Take good notes, follow-up gently, and project manage your tasks to completion.
Remember, the squeaky wheel gets oiled. But the quacking duck gets shot! That’s something I learned twenty years ago from my good friend and mentor, Ron McElfresh.
For more tips, check out The Dyslexia Warrior Parent 10 Ways to Advocate for Your Child by Marcy McIver, an interventionist and educator who shares excellent advice for advocating in public school.