I never ever dreamed I’d become a stay-at-home mom or teacher, or a person that wants to help others, even strangers. I was very selfish and couldn’t put myself in other’s shoes. It was my way or the highway and I’m not an innately giving person as are so many of my friends.
My parents worked hard. My mother was a stay-at-home (SAHM) mom and my father had multiple jobs on the onset. Without a college education, it took three jobs as an auto mechanic to support the family. He realized his dream of higher education and got a Master’s degree, which propelled him to a supervisory position. Needless to say, I didn’t see him much and he was highly stressed as now I understand. They had a traditional relationship. Later in life, they became “partners,” but my formative years were spent witnessing monotonous work and low worth for SAHM’s. The mere thought of this becoming my life, made me shudder. All my good friends wanted kids and to work with kids. Not me.
I didn’t even want to have kids. Hubby tried to bribe me and said I could continue working and he and my mother would raise the kid. He’d get me a chef and cleaning service. That still didn’t fly. He gently mentioned the possibility of leaving. That’s when my thinking shifted.
At five months pregnant, I lost my first child. Loss creates yearning and another shift in mindset, that of a mother. With every pregnancy, I grew increasingly anxious about having a healthy baby. I’m sure that anxiety, passed down to my girls in the womb.
Once my son latched on, I was hooked. Instantly, he was my life and I’d do everything to make a good life for him. A year later, I quit my job to be a SAHM for 13 years. Selfless, but only within my family.
Three children later and years of struggle later, the desire to help others began.
I tried working in a school to see if I liked other people’s kids. I did. The desire grew to help kiddos like mines, who struggled with learning. Understand that by third grade, a child has developed their self-image as a learner, and that carries thru a lifetime. I hope to change the trajectory.
We are Warrior Parents, every day on the battlefield, fighting for our children and getting help. It’s hard especially since many of us struggle with similar undiagnosed issues that our children are being diagnosed with. As you research solutions and therapies for your child, take a look within, and consider caring for yourself as you would for your child. Perhaps back-to-back therapy alongside your child. It’s taken me a long time to figure this out and only after countless training, have I realized that I too am touched with a bit of dyslexia and other differences.